threemeninaboat | (no subject)

After a second try, my Thai green curry is perfect and hands down the best meal I make. It's fast, splendid and can be made VEGAN for you damn hippies that sometimes visit me.

...I was frying tofu in Thai fish sauce... it smells pretty close to...ummmm..girl. Hey,

randomdreams I bet if you fire up the ice cream maker all that sugar and cream would balance it out and... we'd make a million dollars. Throw in bacon bits and we could buy that island somewhere. Madagascar maybe. They have lemurs.
I've washed my hands like 6 times since then and they still smell like fish sauce.

"I got you a present."
"Really? What is it?"
"You have to guess. What are you always telling me?"
"Take a bath?"
"No, when I have an idea, what do you say?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Something nice."
"Are you completely insane?"
"Nicer."
"Does it involve monkeys?"
"Close."
"EYEBALLS!"
"Yes!"
I got eye shaped steel bits.

Conversations that have been relayed to me:

"Who was that psycho girl that kept attacking people with a baseball bat and demanding money?"
"Oh.. my girlfriend."

B: "Nikkis ass is dangerous."
G: "What's bad about her ass?"
T: "Nothing. She's a white girl with a black girls ass. You could bounce quarters off it. When she walks through the room, everything stops."
B: "Except for security!"
T: "Yeah, she gets us kicked out of a lot of places."

NOBODY is allowed to bounce quarters off my ass. Maybe Maggie if she really wanted to.