Advice for the Dame with the Hot Ass

Some lady complained on the BM list about guys grabbing her rear at a party. She also admitted to not speaking up at the time, instead choosing to bring us all into her problem.
My response:

Darlin',

These things should be addressed, in person, as it happens. Dogs don't remember things later.

If I know the man grabbing my ass, and I don't like it; First I'll say, "Please don't EVER touch my ass again."
If it happens a second time, kick him in the nuts. If you don't remember how to do this, consult a local martial arts studio.

If I don't know the man, and I didn't like him grabbing my ass, I invoke my outdoor voice with, "YOU GODDAMN PIG MOTHERFUCKER WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN TREAT WOMEN LIKE THAT? YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU A BIG MAN? YOU SLIMY PIECE OF SHIT. I WANT AN APOLOGY NOW BEFORE I KICK YOU IN THE NUTS AND HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF HERE."
The more curse words, the better, try to spit a lot when you yell. Again, a martial arts studio can teach you an outdoor voice if you've misplaced that too.

This does work.

Love,
Sister Asscheeks.