Advice for the Dame with the Hot Ass

[threemeninaboat]

Some lady complained on the BM list about guys grabbing her rear at a party. She also admitted to not speaking up at the time, instead choosing to bring us all into her problem.
My response:

Darlin',

These things should be addressed, in person, as it happens. Dogs don't remember things later.

If I know the man grabbing my ass, and I don't like it; First I'll say, "Please don't EVER touch my ass again."
If it happens a second time, kick him in the nuts. If you don't remember how to do this, consult a local martial arts studio.

If I don't know the man, and I didn't like him grabbing my ass, I invoke my outdoor voice with, "YOU GODDAMN PIG MOTHERFUCKER WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN TREAT WOMEN LIKE THAT? YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU A BIG MAN? YOU SLIMY PIECE OF SHIT. I WANT AN APOLOGY NOW BEFORE I KICK YOU IN THE NUTS AND HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF HERE."
The more curse words, the better, try to spit a lot when you yell. Again, a martial arts studio can teach you an outdoor voice if you've misplaced that too.

This does work.

Love,
Sister Asscheeks.

Comments

[loree.livejournal.com]

You? My favorite.

[manintheboat.livejournal.com]

I sure grab a lot of lady ass at parties...
Some man ass sometimes too.

[tuffyanonymouse.livejournal.com]

Sister Asscheeks, that is some sound advice. Love the outside voice.

wow

[kim-chi-lite.livejournal.com]

i never saw so many cuss words from you before. in one lj post.
kinda cool.

Re: wow

[manintheboat.livejournal.com]

Pigfucker is my favorite.
I also like calling women "cunts." They HATE that. AS in, "You cunt, I was in line before you."

Re: wow

[kim-chi-lite.livejournal.com]

I usually just slap their shit, first, if I am grabbed by someone fug.

yeah and "dumb" cunt REALLY pisses a bitch off.

haha. good job, dude :)

[maribou]

Preach it, Sister Asscheeks!

[beaq.livejournal.com]

If it's a lot of people's problem, but none of them make it anyone else's problem because that's uncool, then it remains a lot of people's problem.

[manintheboat.livejournal.com]

One a room full of guys watches you rack and spit on another guy, word gets around, and you have fewer problems.
It's not coolness thing, it's a standing up for yourself and not being doormat thing. If every woman fought back instead of cowering, men might think twice.
Teach a woman to fish.

[ishaunted.livejournal.com]

I loved your response - I'd read her initial post, and I agree with you. Having been in a situation once where I didn't speak up, I take full responsibility for not having let my feelings be known. I fully believe that if someone is in a situation they are not happy about, if he/she doesn't have the strength to fight for him/herself, he/she at least has the responsibility to ask for help.

Of course, no one should ever have to deal with things like this - wearing a skimpy dress shouldn't mean you should expect to be groped, but knowing it is a possibility, you should expect to defend yourself if necessary.

[okterok.livejournal.com]

Roflmao