Watching you waste away

Zanwe, don't give Todd any pot, he's trying to quit, I wish I told you yesterday... Also, please wash my plates that are encrusted with your spagetti. Thank you. and some forks too, it's your turn.



Todd came over at 10 p.m., he never comes home until at least midnight. He got stoned and curled up on the couch and watched Tomb Raider... He didn't even eat a whole carton of ice cream... or make any bacon...

"I thought you were gonna stop smoking pot."
"Zane offered."
"So you're weak."
"Yes."
"You cried for 2 hours last night about how you need to put your life back together and stop getting stoned."
"I said a lot of things.... You're making my tummy hurt. All I wanted to do was watch a movie."
"Fine."

Later:

"So if I don't stop smoking pot you'll leave me."
"I said I'd leave you if you didn't put your life back together. And you can't think clearly enough to put your life back together unless you stop smoking pot."
"How do you know?"
"Intuition."


"I'm not getting drunk anymore."
"You drank a pitcher of beer last night."
"I gave most of it away."
"You were still almost drunk."
"I didn't drink that much at Burning Man."
"You were drinking 4 glasses of Absinthe a DAY, along with everything else."
"But I wasn't drunk."
"....."


Then we made up....

Now for the amusing part of our relationship, we speak our own languages to each other.

T:" You know what your language sounds like?"
N: "What?"
"In Cinderella, when the mice talk amongst themselves, you sound like them."
"You're close, it's based on the squrrils in 'The Sword in the Stone.'"
"Your speaking squrril to me?"
"Yup, kinda. But you're speaking mouse."
"humonamin."
"chicuo."