(no subject)

[threemeninaboat]

Odd: Time it usually takes to orgasm during head- 15 to 20 minutes. Masturbation- 20 to 30 minutes. Watching Japanese porn- 3 minutes.
I felt like a guy.


It took less than a week to: dump girlfriend, dump boyfriend, sorta take back boyfriend, break the clutch on my car, get sick.

Attention new friends: Hi, I'm not usually this whiney, just a bad week. I do get more entertaining, like this:


Call in sick today, headcold. What staying home sick is like:

Sleep till 11.
Tell Todd I don't want to have sex.
Demand breakfast. Oatmeal.
No, I don't want head with my oatmeal.
Watch movie.
Stop trying to give me head.
Todd shoves frozen raspberries in my nose and then eats them. Not sure what he's doing to the raspberries before he feeds them to me.
YOUR CELL PHONE DOES NOT GO IT THERE!!!!
Demand dinner.
Read me "Sheep in a Jeep." NO NO NO! The sheep DO NOT die in the end!
No, you can't fuck my armpit. Your jizz was not ment to go in my nose. Let me Sleep!

Comments

[ziz]

Oatmeal is such a perfect breakfast food, assuming it actually resembles oatmeal as opposed to gray spackle. :)

[crossfire.livejournal.com]

I was beginning to get a little concerned about your absence. :)

So are we still on for Wednesday?

[wig.livejournal.com]

Um, hi :) I saw your journal on randomdreams friends page and added it to my friends list because it did indeed look entertaining. Hope you don't mind.

[manintheboat.livejournal.com]

*waves*
Hi, good to have you. Just don't get offended if I go off on one of my "England sucks" tangents. :)
I visited your country 2 years ago and am still scarred.
Good beer though and I like the refrigerated chocolate bar vending machines. I want one of those.

[wig.livejournal.com]

Actually I go off on "England Sucks" tangents frequently, and this is just one of the ways I say "Fuck England" :)

[hopeyhopey.livejournal.com]

Glad you're back, hope you're feeling better. :)

[firenflower.livejournal.com]

I didn't notice you'd been gone as i have been gone too. SO, cosmos? this week is rough for me, maybe next week we can really live it up. Give you time to get completely over your cold so you can abuse your body with alcohol :)

[manintheboat.livejournal.com]

oh.. please.... no booze this week... eehhhhh...

Next week! Yes!