Making Christmas

[threemeninaboat]

During randomdreams family lunch today, his sister-in-law said, "We were talking in the car about since the economy is so bad*, let's not get each other Christmas presents this year."
I said, "But I've already done all your Christmas shopping this year. I suppose I can find other foodies who will like the presents I've gotten you then."

Oh the face she made!

*Sort of odd, since none of us are having financial issues.


For only a bit more than a dead tree, today we bought a really live tree. A 7 foot Austrian Pine in a bucket. We'll put it on wheels and shuffle it onto the deck in the summer. I can keep it alive and trimmed up so it will always be a Perfect Christmas Tree that I won't have to worry about. I'll go decorate it as soon as I finish my homework.

Comments

[maribou]

"The economy is really bad, so even though we're doing just fine, let's hoard our money, because that will really help the economy improve..."

(May be my many years of working in a struggling retail operation that makes me overly grumpy about that.)

[randomdreams.livejournal.com]

I *think* they meant it in more of a "we know you don't have a huge amount of excess money..." way, since both mom and my brother have significantly more money than they need for their bills.

[manintheboat.livejournal.com]

...
I can buy my family Christmas presents.
Just because I have less money than they do, doesn't mean I don't have money.

[maribou]

Yeah, I didn't really mean they were skinflints, and I have to remind myself that being careful and non-spendy with money doesn't affect MY livelihood anymore ... just, the whole present-negotiating thing makes me all twitchy to start with. Buy presents, don't buy presents, write someone a letter telling them why they are awesome and wishing them a merry $holiday, but I was raised with some kind of weird ethos about present-giving that you don't tell people what to do about your presents, period, which means I misreact to most of that stuff...

[ilmarinen.livejournal.com]

We can't shop our way out of this one.

Really, one's spending habits should be about the same regardless of economy. This is how a certain plant I know behaves. She saves all her money.

I, I do tend to respond to my personal income levels. It is prudent to be frugal when one doesn't know the future economic prospects. Having cash reserves allows one to take advantage of opportunities, and respond to problems.

-B.

[manintheboat.livejournal.com]

Their points were not about shopping, being frugal, or the economy.

[maribou]

Yeah, I don't disagree with what you've said, though I didn't mean that we CAN shop our way out of it, just that we can't not-buy-stuff our way out of it either, but I think it was just my knee-jerk present etiquette stuff kicking in and filtering my reaction for me. "Let's not buy presents for each other" is pretty much guaranteed to drive me crazy, as is say, "tell us everything you would like to have for Christmas so we don't get you something you don't want," and I have to be generous and polite and other-directed enough about enough stuff in my own life relating to how I follow all of Jay's family's Christmas traditions and rules and none of my own, most years (necessary result of living so far from home), that I'm silly about these things.

As an aside, "I know I usually buy you presents but I really can't afford to this year," or even, "Look, I know you're kinda broke, please don't spend a bunch of money on me, I'd rather see you taking care of the things I know you need" would not offend me even though they are much blunter & taboo-crossing in talking about financial situations. Or just not buying me a present in a given year when a person normally would doesn't offend me or worry me if I don't otherwise think things are strained between us.

I just really really don't like being told what to do about giving people stuff, and the third-party way MITB describes this conversation made it worse. It's frustrating to have thought and planned very good presents for people and then be told that they don't think we should exchange them - like a gift being spurned.

I'm very culturally primitive in some ways, I suspect.