threemeninaboat | Dad vs Satan

The house next to my parent's home is a rental.
They've been upset by tenants for years. Renters have barking dogs, children, bad yard art, construct play grounds, cut the trees....
The most recent one has irritated dad the most.

"They're worshiping Satan over there. Look, she's burning offerings to him."
"That's a BBQ grill, and those are hamburgers. Do you need new glasses?"
"NO! See, those torches guide Satan to them!"
"Those are Tiki Torches. They are having a bar-b-que. Torches are only from Satan if they are from Wal-Mart."

I get calls about how she's a "prostitute" and dates a "black man."
"Dad, black people can date white people now. And women can vote. And those horseless carriage things are called 'cars'."

After many calls to the cops and non payment of rent, the lady was evicted and the house is now on the market.

Dad decided he wants to buy the house next door, just to be rid of the nutters. And Satan.
Fortunately, he figured out that it's not easy being a landlord, it's much easier to drink your extra money away, and bailed out just short of called my real estate agent.