"I love you"
Tuesday, July 2nd, 2002 04:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threemeninaboatMy Codex book got here ($200 + $75 shipping) and I got the credit card I've always wanted. I still can't seem to fake or force a smile. I hope my seratonin comes back soon.
Here's the skinny. I normally don't take drugs. At Geodesika I took in 1 hour, in this order: A few shots of Chartruse, some opium laced Absinthe, mushrooms and X.
I was sitting in the main dome waiting for the mushrooms to do something (probably weren't as I didn't take much) and this kid Matt comes up and finishes off my bottle of Chartruse. He feels really bad about it and offers me some X. I take it and chug all the water it came with. At this point I know I'm gonna need some warm clothes, someone to babysit me and a safe place. I walk over to the fire and found Todd.
"Honey, I need pants and I took drugs."
"You took what where?"
"X, absinthe, chartruse and mushrooms in my tummy."
"Okay we'll get you pants when I finish my oranges."
"How about we live in Estes Park?"
"Okay we can live in Estes Park in a trailer park."
"WE ARE NOT RAISING OUR CHILDREN IN A TRAILER PARK."
"Sure we can, sweetums....."
At that point my mind left. I briefly saw rainbows. By the time Todd took me to the car to change clothes I couldn't even move or open my eyes. Todd parked me back in front of the fire covered in my green robe. I didn't want to move or interact with anything, I just wanted to sleep. Todd said, "Nikki! Can you hear me?"
"mmmmm"
"You Need To Drink Water... just a sip honey. Ecstacy is going to suck out all your water and you need to keep drinking."
Someone gave me a big jug.
"Where did you get the X?"
"Kid named Matt bought it from (mutual friend not mentioning any names)..."
"I'll be back."
"(Mutual Friend) says you took a very small amount. Do you wanna go dance or listen to music?"
"sleeping...."
"I've been in your place before, I think your a bit overwhelmed and your blocking. You'll feel better if you get up and walk a bit."
"no.... gonna sleep."
"Okay." Todd told everyone else by the fire, "Just treat her like a plant, she's green and not going anywhere, just make sure she has water."
So I stayed hunched over, half asleep listening to conversations, breathing funny and drinking water occationally. Sometimes I mumbled to other people, "If you could make sure I don't fall into the fire, I'd be much appreciative...."
An hour later I sat straight up and said, "Time to go love people."
I grabbed my water jug and Scott followed me around while I hugged everyone who was still awake around camp. Everyone got told "I love you."
Then I decided I needed candy. Evil Mom gave me a lolly.
"Done loving, time to go back to sleep." I staggered back to the fire and slumped back over.
Todd eventually took me back to my tent.
That was Saturday. I STILL feel ultra shitty.
Here's the skinny. I normally don't take drugs. At Geodesika I took in 1 hour, in this order: A few shots of Chartruse, some opium laced Absinthe, mushrooms and X.
I was sitting in the main dome waiting for the mushrooms to do something (probably weren't as I didn't take much) and this kid Matt comes up and finishes off my bottle of Chartruse. He feels really bad about it and offers me some X. I take it and chug all the water it came with. At this point I know I'm gonna need some warm clothes, someone to babysit me and a safe place. I walk over to the fire and found Todd.
"Honey, I need pants and I took drugs."
"You took what where?"
"X, absinthe, chartruse and mushrooms in my tummy."
"Okay we'll get you pants when I finish my oranges."
"How about we live in Estes Park?"
"Okay we can live in Estes Park in a trailer park."
"WE ARE NOT RAISING OUR CHILDREN IN A TRAILER PARK."
"Sure we can, sweetums....."
At that point my mind left. I briefly saw rainbows. By the time Todd took me to the car to change clothes I couldn't even move or open my eyes. Todd parked me back in front of the fire covered in my green robe. I didn't want to move or interact with anything, I just wanted to sleep. Todd said, "Nikki! Can you hear me?"
"mmmmm"
"You Need To Drink Water... just a sip honey. Ecstacy is going to suck out all your water and you need to keep drinking."
Someone gave me a big jug.
"Where did you get the X?"
"Kid named Matt bought it from (mutual friend not mentioning any names)..."
"I'll be back."
"(Mutual Friend) says you took a very small amount. Do you wanna go dance or listen to music?"
"sleeping...."
"I've been in your place before, I think your a bit overwhelmed and your blocking. You'll feel better if you get up and walk a bit."
"no.... gonna sleep."
"Okay." Todd told everyone else by the fire, "Just treat her like a plant, she's green and not going anywhere, just make sure she has water."
So I stayed hunched over, half asleep listening to conversations, breathing funny and drinking water occationally. Sometimes I mumbled to other people, "If you could make sure I don't fall into the fire, I'd be much appreciative...."
An hour later I sat straight up and said, "Time to go love people."
I grabbed my water jug and Scott followed me around while I hugged everyone who was still awake around camp. Everyone got told "I love you."
Then I decided I needed candy. Evil Mom gave me a lolly.
"Done loving, time to go back to sleep." I staggered back to the fire and slumped back over.
Todd eventually took me back to my tent.
That was Saturday. I STILL feel ultra shitty.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-07-02 05:20 pm (UTC)hmm....
Date: 2002-07-02 08:30 pm (UTC)Re: hmm....
Date: 2002-07-03 09:16 am (UTC)Just me trying almost anything once... sometimes you try things and you don't like them. But at least you tried.
no subject
Date: 2002-07-02 09:30 pm (UTC)But hey it's better than burning a day sitting in front of a TV.
no subject
Date: 2002-07-03 09:25 am (UTC)I wanted to ask you something anyway...
Do you know anything about basic bike repair and if so would you be willing to show some Denverites how to repair their bikes for Burning Man this year? We approched the bike people at The Other Side and they wanted a large chunk of change (strange since most Other Siders are ultra cool).
We are also doing a ride every Tuesday down Cherry Creek, in costume if you like. You can come. Let me know if you are interested.
no subject
Date: 2002-07-08 11:06 pm (UTC)Sure. I *love* working on bikes. My favorite college memories are of getting together with a bunch of my friends, tearing our bikes entirely to pieces, and putting them back together, while playing punk WAY too loudly. Absolutely I'd be willing to do this. I don't have a LOT of equipment -- about enough to repair two bikes at the same time -- but hey, it'd work somehow.
Getting paid for showing people how to work on bikes is like... well, okay, a lot of sexual metaphors leap to mind, but I'll avoid them. It'd be like someone paying me to eat chocolate. Sure, yeah, it'd be nice, but very weird. The more people that know how to fix bikes, the more people that will be RIDING bikes, and that's its own reward.
and yes. I plan on being there at 6:30 tomorrow. Dunno if you'll see this before then.
JOY!
Date: 2002-07-09 09:09 am (UTC)Ahhh... a man after my own heart. It'll be great meeting you tonight! I'll be on the bronze Trek looking like I'm going to fall off it....
no subject
Date: 2002-07-02 10:54 pm (UTC)but i love you.
even if you won't say it back.