(no subject)

If I was Blagojevich, I would totally not leave office either. I'd be all up there in my big squishy chair like, "You there, bitches, bring me more coffee. Steak for lunch for everybody. How much of this money can we blow in the next few hours? Call Unos, I need a pizza oven and chef in my house. Let's see, who can I pardon? Everybody. Everybody gets a pardon. National Guard, go put a new wing on my house for my pizza oven. Any of these laws over here need passing? Umm... LSD is now legal in Illinois. Where's my nooner?"

randomdreams says he wouldn't vote for me anyway. I'd kick him in the shin.

(no subject)

I got myself a pair of Footed Sock Monkey Jammies from Target.
I am horribly disturbed that my sock monkey jammies does not have a tail.
(is it "do not have a tail" or "does not have a tail?")

I called my mother to make me one. "This is an adult size you are wearing? Or have you jammed yourself into a child's pair?* I cannot believe they make footie jammies for adults." She wants to know how old I am, and why an I still running around in footie jammies, but then remembers that I've always wanted a tail and she's sort of happy that I don't come around begging her to sew tails on all my clothes. I told her I already have a tail that ties on like a belt, two in fact.

I wonder if my mother knows what Furries are and I hope I never have to explain that I'm not a furry, not that she would care or be surprised either way.

I just think a sock monkey jammie set needs a tail.


*She remembers the time I got stuck in a black, "HAVE A NICE DAY" shopping bag. And the time I got stuck in my Russian flight suit. "I don't have time to explain what I am stuck in, I just need you to tell me how to get the zipper undone."