"She's just like a plant, she's green and give her water."

If I've talked to you in the past 3 days it probably hasn't been a pleasant experience. Don't feel personally offended, I don't even want to talk to Todd right now. Don't call me and don't e-mail me. I do however kind of like my head pet and to be given water.

Essentially, I took too many drugs and am not back to normal yet.

I'll write again and explain more when I am normal.

"I love you"

My Codex book got here ($200 + $75 shipping) and I got the credit card I've always wanted. I still can't seem to fake or force a smile. I hope my seratonin comes back soon.

Here's the skinny. I normally don't take drugs. At Geodesika I took in 1 hour, in this order: A few shots of Chartruse, some opium laced Absinthe, mushrooms and X.

I was sitting in the main dome waiting for the mushrooms to do something (probably weren't as I didn't take much) and this kid Matt comes up and finishes off my bottle of Chartruse. He feels really bad about it and offers me some X. I take it and chug all the water it came with. At this point I know I'm gonna need some warm clothes, someone to babysit me and a safe place. I walk over to the fire and found Todd.
"Honey, I need pants and I took drugs."
"You took what where?"
"X, absinthe, chartruse and mushrooms in my tummy."
"Okay we'll get you pants when I finish my oranges."
"How about we live in Estes Park?"
"Okay we can live in Estes Park in a trailer park."
"WE ARE NOT RAISING OUR CHILDREN IN A TRAILER PARK."
"Sure we can, sweetums....."
At that point my mind left. I briefly saw rainbows. By the time Todd took me to the car to change clothes I couldn't even move or open my eyes. Todd parked me back in front of the fire covered in my green robe. I didn't want to move or interact with anything, I just wanted to sleep. Todd said, "Nikki! Can you hear me?"
"mmmmm"
"You Need To Drink Water... just a sip honey. Ecstacy is going to suck out all your water and you need to keep drinking."
Someone gave me a big jug.
"Where did you get the X?"
"Kid named Matt bought it from (mutual friend not mentioning any names)..."
"I'll be back."

"(Mutual Friend) says you took a very small amount. Do you wanna go dance or listen to music?"
"sleeping...."
"I've been in your place before, I think your a bit overwhelmed and your blocking. You'll feel better if you get up and walk a bit."
"no.... gonna sleep."
"Okay." Todd told everyone else by the fire, "Just treat her like a plant, she's green and not going anywhere, just make sure she has water."
So I stayed hunched over, half asleep listening to conversations, breathing funny and drinking water occationally. Sometimes I mumbled to other people, "If you could make sure I don't fall into the fire, I'd be much appreciative...."

An hour later I sat straight up and said, "Time to go love people."
I grabbed my water jug and Scott followed me around while I hugged everyone who was still awake around camp. Everyone got told "I love you."
Then I decided I needed candy. Evil Mom gave me a lolly.
"Done loving, time to go back to sleep." I staggered back to the fire and slumped back over.
Todd eventually took me back to my tent.

That was Saturday. I STILL feel ultra shitty.